Saturday, January 16, 2010

The Test

Isn't there a rush every time you see an oppurtunity to pull someone's leg. The thrill of spotting the moment and striking at the particular moment with that one line is nothing short of pure bliss. So well I am known for being sarcastic ( guilty as charged). Yesterday while I was waiting to load the washing machine- there walks in Jatin and presents the perfect opportunity to strike. Soon he was joined by others and well it was nothing less than a massacre :P. It is then, in that moment while I was on a killing spree ( metaphorical ) I was presented with a challenge - TO SPEND 24 HOURS WITHOUT PASSING A SINGLE SARCASTIC COMMENT!!!

And I accepted it. Why is it, whenever you take an oath, the world conspires against you to break it. As soon as I took the oath, Jayant invited us to view his pics of Chennai- Tirupathi trip. Well he, Pushpendra and Dhiraj had gone to see monuments and temples ( common you are 22, I didnot even go to these places on school trips). The places were surely Nice!. But well the 3 matched the statues on the monuments with their poses. Some looked directly out the great Indian epic ( Nope not Ramayana, not Mahabharata .... yeah you perverts thats right!), in some pics they looked as if being asked to pose on the gun point. But thats not it, with so many people standing, not a single one commented. Nope not one comment, no jeers, no smirks. I had to shout while looking at one especially artisitc pic - " Somebody... Somebody ... Anybody !!!common ". Yes there were smiles on their faces. Not because of the pic, but because of the situation they had put me into.

There was Jatin with his snide comments and provocations to which I couldnot respond. Rohit with his humour about our office , Harshal with his talks on mobile with his boyfriends, DU with his fundas and I couldnot utter a single word. Just had to stand there and smile.It was not over yet.

I got to office and after a meeting people ( ET's) ran after free food and I could not pass a single comment. People came early to the mess for all sorts of weird reasons. And well.

So somehow I got through all this. To make matters easier I came back and slept till I completed my 24 hours. And well they were finally up. SO :-

Jatin: Kam kha mote, dharti ka bhoj kam hoga, phat jayega kisi din kha kha ke ( eat less you ______, there will be less weight for earth to bear, one day you will burst eating.)

Jayant: The person who may even swipe for entry into the plant at 5:45 am so that he becomes CMD one day ( good good). But his love and affection for Pushpa is questionable. One only has to look at Dhiraj for what envy of this " relationship" does to him. Perfect case of Mia Biwi and Woh!

Guru: If he has his way, he would even make chicken run on a treadmill before consuming him. The guy who has a penchant for Tennis, fitness, nutrition and well touching other men ( ghar mein baap bhai nahi hai kya)

Rohit : Well can't write much about him, he has my sympathies for what he goes through everyday and I once every week. Hang in tight ..... just hope one day you don't get a nasal tone and for god sake stop glorifying staring blankly at the screen and making horizontal and vertical lines as designing.

Harshal : DOCOMO gets money for their TV ads through the phone bill this guy foots. EK din boyfriends bhi bhaag jayenge, itna mat chaat unko ( one day even your friends will run, stop stalking them.)

Pushpa ( Pushpendra) : There will be one day when you won't be ragged by colleagues, bosses and Jayant ( normally all 3 happen at once). And for god sake smile in the pics, looks like Jayant took advantage of you in the night and forcibly told you to pose in the pics!.

Vishal: Stop starting the line outside the mess after punching in. It would open only at 11:30. And eat fast! eat fast!

Sravan : One day you will get rid of the over used mop which you pass off as your hair.

and for the rest of the people from the esteemed 37th ET Batch ... G**********************nd M***********************rao!

Disclaimer: all the people mentioned in the above post are fictional, any resembelance to any person living or soon to be dead ( ala yours truly) is purely intentional.

PS: Ok Jatin .... I cheated ... Invariably made 2 comments one to Jayant and one to Harshal ... DAMN! Look at you, all smug!
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