Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Things People DO!

Well long time since I posted anything here. I have signed a document in my company which bars me from writing anything about it, about the country, about my opinion on certian issues ( this one is still not clear ) so well pretty much about everything. So while I was thinking what to write ( you see I love my blog and also tormenting you with all the blabber ), I saw at the vast expanse of people around me ( We have the second largest population in the world, the one thing we are not short of is well men ( and women ... Damn you feminists ) ).

Have you ever noticed, wherever you are you can always categories people on the nature of their behavior. There are well the perfectionists, the confused souls, the " cool dudes ", the losers, The not so sure class and well the list is unending.

So it got me thinking people in a particular category always display same kind of behavior like in a class:

The front Benchers: The no nonsense group. Normally the shirt tucked in kind. Who try to imbibe each and every of the teacher's words. Look upto him as if the next moment he is going to give them the formula of becoming a " chick magnet". To the people on the later benches, the " cool dudes" these are the "losers" but well after the class graduates the equation changes rapidly and the tables turn. Anyhow these people are teachers pets and well 70% of the time teacher only teaches them.

The apparent front Benchers: This group normally consists of individuals who want to study but also have a life!. They normally use the front benchers as cover for hiding their marvel comics, mobile phones, Novels and well anything and everything. Sometimes when they are bored just for kicks they also ask a question to waste time. Most of the time of this group is spent by either pulling someone's leg from their own group or dividing their attention between the procrastination device, the teacher and looking at the people from other sex.

The middle Benches: The people are the most confused of the lot. They don't really know whether they want to study or just procrastinate. In this confusion most of the time is spent making weird theories. Giving stupid ratings to anything and everything under the sun. Doodling on the desk, playing games like book cricket. The the activity mostly pursued by them is well - sleep. Most of the time they would be found in the dreamland conquering new kingdoms and exploring new vistas. The are never in teachers line of sight. Not too front so that teacher teaches them, neither too back so that teacher keeps a cautious eye on them. They are sometimes the unsuspecting target of an enthusiastic teacher who asks them a question. The answer to which is delight to the whole class.

The apparent back benchers: These are the " cool dudes" of the class ( mark the euphemism in the tone ). They would try to act differently. Look at others with condensation especially the front benchers. Passing snide comments is their birth right. They are keen on making plans to get to know that new girl in the class. During school this place was the abode of the bullies- the same one's who stole your lunch boxes and deflated your cycle tires. Their desks have some of the best comments which you can imagine. Some so naughty that they may make you go red. The teacher is always - Budha, sadoo, ganja, khadoos to them and their notebooks would have more games played than the formula's taught.

The Back Benchers : These poor souls are at the back because most of the time they are late to the class ( nearly always) for no fault of their own ( again nearly always). The most common thing about this group is their dress. Sometime they would have two different coloured socks, the shirt being out,a sandwitch which is still being muched in their mouth, the bag half open threatening to spill its contents. They would be scavenging for that one extra pen or a spare sheet of paper. The moment they enter the class they would give the teacher the look of a deer caught in front of headlights. These people at first really do try to come early but well the alarm, the cycle, that person who occupies the bathroom for 1 hour before them always betrays them. At first they feel bad about coming late. Later it becomes a ritual.


So well apart from class. There is another area where you can easily categorize people. That one place the Men's washroom ( No No not that, stop your thoughts you perverts). As opposed to women, talking in men's washroom is an absolute taboo. And so well you don't even acknowledge the person standing next to you. Well every person has a different way of handling his own pee schedule. Here are some instances:
The Racers , people in fast life, people who have to meet the deadline : For them everything is an F1 race. They barge in, go the nearest cubicle, have a race against time to empty their load as fast as they can. Go to the basin wash their hands and then check the time. For them pee break is nothing but a pit stop. The come in have their stratergy decided and leave as soon as they came.

The confused souls: These are the people who don't really know how and why they ended in the washroom. They are baffled when they enter, look around and then go to the basin still not sure why they are here. Look at themselves in the mirror. Then remember why they are here and finally do the job and well go out the same way -> basin -> mirror -> looking around. They even conduct their job in a confused way.

The perfectionists : These are the category of people who have to have perfection at everything they do. Aiming at the correct spot. Aiming and striving to hit the target. Even at the basin their activities are coordinated as if guided by an algorithm. Going to basin opening the tap to have just the correct pressure ... taking right amount of soap and closing the tap well in tap to conserve resources.

The Benched crowd : These are the people who have time on their side. Washroom is like the second home to them. Every time you go, you would see them. They do everything leisurely - From start to the end.

The Why me crowd: This is a set of people who always have something going wrong their lives. When they enter their face is an object of pity. They look around desperately for a place to relieve themselves. Walking awkwardly as if everything that can go wrong is about to go wrong. These people can be a subject of case study for people studying what happens to people when they achieve something they desire. The change in reaction of their face pre and post job has marked difference. What was an object of pity a few moments back keeps giving to the contagious smile of a winner saying - " yes I have done it "

Well there are many more categories of people but these are the most common. There are also many more places where people show their inner characteristics. But this post has gone too long. So I won't torment you any further. Till then let me find more topics I can blog about and well observe more behaviors :P.

image coutesy:
1. http://images.inmagine.com/img/imagezoo/iz130/iz130003.jpg
2. Calvin and Hobbes.
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