Monday, March 10, 2008

Confessions of a frustrated soul

How many times has it happened to you the your plans change last moment? The party to which you wanted to go for so long , getting canceled at the last moment. The exam for which you had studied everything except the last chapter and every question in the exam from that chapter. Why does it always screw up when everything looks perfect?
Last few days have been the most tiring, tormenting and frustrating days of my life. Everything fell apart and the worst part of all i couldn't do anything to change it all. What fell apart, well it will come out in a few days ..... and writing about it here will only elevate the problem. What bothers me the most is how egoistic, naive, foolish and selfish can some people be? How politics can shred even the best of efforts? How somebody's personal vendetta can screw the future of the rest for years to come?
There have times in the past when i have not agreed with the "system" . When i have gone against the "system". But in all of those times there had always been a window, there had always been a ray of light. But now i feel the whole bloody SYSTEM is farce. It is just a way of politicians to abuse in every way possible.
Sometimes you give up something which is close to you because you don't want to be a party of its destruction. Quark was one such thing to me. The thing which cost me everything - cg , friends, relationships, social life , life in general only for making those 3 days possible. And now after i have screwed up nearly everything for it and have no chance of changing it. I don't want to be a part of its destruction. And hence I GIVE UP for the more " worthy and experienced" people to take care of it.

There are people to whom i want to apologize, there are people with whom i want to make up , there are people whom i want to say " F*ck off" and there are others to whom i don't even know what i want to do.

Still dont understand how somethings can get screwed up so drastically..............
Never ever have i been so frustrated, angry , alone , confused in this college......... DAMN!
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