Monday, March 17, 2008

The mute spectators

Edward Luce in his book In spite of the Gods described India as country trying to find its footing. A country progressing on the path of development, but still dealing with problems unique only to itself.
We Indians fancy ourself as being the next super power. The country of the 21st century. But still whenever anything goes wrong we are the first to turn our head away. A girl - a tourist - a guest is raped and murdered in our country and we keep quiet. We give refuge to people fighting for their freedom but when the same people are slaughtered for fighting for their cause, we turn our heads away. We choose to maintain our high moral ground but in reality we act like cowards who are afraid to stand up to a bully. Sitting on our high pedestal we pass judgments and comments, not caring about others!
Scarlett Johnson a 15 year old teenager was raped and murdered in Goa last week. She was drugged, assaulted and then left to die on the beach. At first we brushed aside the case as another Phirangi spoiling our culture and getting what she deserved by drowning. Nobody even cared to investigate. Finally when the mother of the victim ran from pillar to post did we wake up. Even then the blame went to GOA - the rave parties , the drug temple etc etc. Nobody cared to go in depth and find the criminal or actually solve the case. Just take out the editorials of any newspaper and you will find it goes from everything abut foreigners spoiling goa to its land mafia but wont speak about the case. I have been studying in BITS goa for 3 years and nobody i know in college is a druggy or has gone out and become one. It is not the state , not the place but the criminal sociology which is the culprit here. Do you think such a crime wouldn't have happened anywhere else in the country? No but we want to play the blame game..

Coming to the second issue. We have granted political asylum to Tibetians. But today when there are riots in lhasa , when there is oppression, manslaughter, we have kept mum. Not saying anything to anger the bigg brother China.More than 80 people have been killed and several hundred injured, and protests are spreading to other parts of Tibet.Schools and monasteries are sealed off, and there are heavy restrictions on people's movements with security forces stepping up their hunt for rioters in house-to-house searches.Around 400-500 people who received gunshot wounds are without medical assistance and are scared of being arrested if they go to hospital.

How long will we hide behind this veil of hippocracy? How long can we afford to keep mum? Our neighbour country is worn torn, martial law imposed, no democracy and we couldn't care less. If we truly want to become a super power we should take a stand. Punish the culprit . Own to our own follies. Raise our voice against the opression.
Our neighbours view us as the big bully. Nepal has maoist who are against India. God what happens to pakistan. Bangladesh is falling to hardlined mullahs and sri lanka is grappling with LTTE. WE are making castles in thin air. How can we progress with such an unstabilty in region? How can we progress when we dont know how to protect the foreigners in our country, worse still bring culprits to justice?

Its time we act , raise our voice make ourself heard. Or we would forever remain a country trying to come to terms with its own destiny, trying to find its footing.

Protests have started in Tibet for autonomy and chinese government is crushing it with all its might. Nobody knows the full extent of damage. Now the ball is in your court either remain quiet or raise your voice for a cause!!!

Saturday, March 15, 2008

The centurion

This is my 100 post on blogspot. YAY!!! i have finally made a century somewhere :D. Congratulate me ( nice way to increase comments ). Ok since now the euphoria of my 100th post has died down, i don't know what to write. The sole purpose of this post was to celebrate the century.
Well thinking about my life, a lot has been going on lately. But don't want to write about it here. This post is about celebration and happiness. Well the past week was full of exams .... and the story is the usual on that front. Going to panjim tomorrow and coming to Bombay on the weekend, so you Bombay guys if you need anything from here buzz me. So do the goa guys if you need anything from Bombay.

Among other things reaching the end of BITSian life and getting senti on small things (never expected such a thing would happen to me !!!). Comp is screwed and dying a slow painful death . Some damn virus has wrecked it and kills applications everyday. Currently Mozilla, gtalk and itunes are surviving. That means no Dc, no vlc and hence implies no movies. I am kinda liking it this way discovering other things !!!. Btw it is so screwed that i cannot even open a notepad file. And to top it all my cd rom drive is not working so cannot format it even. In short vaat lageli hai!.

What i want to do right now- I want to break free!. Long time since i had a good laugh or indulged myself. So hopefully tomorrow should be fun. Btw if any of you want to accompany me tomoroow buzz me.

Thats it!

ps: can't still believe i wrote 100 pieces of crap!

Monday, March 10, 2008

Confessions of a frustrated soul

How many times has it happened to you the your plans change last moment? The party to which you wanted to go for so long , getting canceled at the last moment. The exam for which you had studied everything except the last chapter and every question in the exam from that chapter. Why does it always screw up when everything looks perfect?
Last few days have been the most tiring, tormenting and frustrating days of my life. Everything fell apart and the worst part of all i couldn't do anything to change it all. What fell apart, well it will come out in a few days ..... and writing about it here will only elevate the problem. What bothers me the most is how egoistic, naive, foolish and selfish can some people be? How politics can shred even the best of efforts? How somebody's personal vendetta can screw the future of the rest for years to come?
There have times in the past when i have not agreed with the "system" . When i have gone against the "system". But in all of those times there had always been a window, there had always been a ray of light. But now i feel the whole bloody SYSTEM is farce. It is just a way of politicians to abuse in every way possible.
Sometimes you give up something which is close to you because you don't want to be a party of its destruction. Quark was one such thing to me. The thing which cost me everything - cg , friends, relationships, social life , life in general only for making those 3 days possible. And now after i have screwed up nearly everything for it and have no chance of changing it. I don't want to be a part of its destruction. And hence I GIVE UP for the more " worthy and experienced" people to take care of it.

There are people to whom i want to apologize, there are people with whom i want to make up , there are people whom i want to say " F*ck off" and there are others to whom i don't even know what i want to do.

Still dont understand how somethings can get screwed up so drastically..............
Never ever have i been so frustrated, angry , alone , confused in this college......... DAMN!

Sunday, March 9, 2008

The ride

There is a feeling which everybody gets when they get on a roller coaster. There is this initial apprehension , a mix of fear , anxiety , excitement , thrill and a hope to have some fun. Then when the ride is on its peak , there is only 1 feeling .... "why the hell did i take this ride ?" . This is the point where you are shouting your guts off. And then there is this part when the ride slows down , you see the end approaching and the only thing you wish is .... " god , i want to do this again. "

Yesterday Waves 2008 ended. Sitting on the lawn listening to Evergreen, it hit me for the first time that this roller coaster ride of my BITSian experience is coming to an end. There was this slow realisation which dawned on me. The only thing i did was to lie back and look at the stars, thinking about this ride and listening to the live rock performance ( there is nothing better than a live performance .... and personally i dont see any point in moshing or forcing myslef to head bang .... my head bangs himslef when it feels like :D ) .

Thinking about it , with Waves ending .... i felt a chapter of my life was ending ... it would probably be my last Waves. BITS did change me lot , transformed me from this nerd to sort of a confident person. I have odne everything here- been a part of part Waves ( culfest) , organised a Quark ( techfest ) , opened a club , held a position , been the president of RDC (:D) . Gave bumps at 12 in the night to the poor soul whose crime was to be born that day, howled at every six which India hit in the common room, got jitters before every exam...... Made some great friends ..... lost some friends . Probably the only thing i didn't do was the thing for which i had come here - To study :D ( so shows my CG ) . Like the roller coater ... yes i would like to be on this ride again .... and probably change some things.

Well i know this post has come a bit too early. But from yesterday ... i was dying to put these thoughts somewhere. Thinking about it now ... in 1.5 months i would be out of here ... in a new place , with new people , a new story and a new ride.

ps:this was a too small post to write about what BITS has given me ... just to write my thoughts.... i big post ( it would be bigger than my quark post ) would come out after some time.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Why is the journey more important than the end ?

Just take a look around, see what everybody is doing. What do you see? People are involved in mundane activities, squirming thorough drudgeries of life like moths around fire. Ask anybody just for a moment what they want, and most of the time you will find souls confused, in self doubt about what they want. Everybody swims with the flow. People do what the next person is doing or what the world is doing. Somehow nowadays the journey has become more important than the end. Why?

Well why i wanted to write this blog was not because of the questions which i have asked above. But because of the recent controversy about the battle of Longewala of 1971 Indo- Pak war. How are the two things related? Well to me they are. The way i look at it, both the forces are giving more importance to the journey than the end. The bottom line is that WE WON THE WAR. The airforce played a pivotal role in the operation. But i do believe nobody could have held a battalion for 3 hours straight without the help of ground forces. What the truth is we will never know. I tried to do some secondary research in the internet ( ya i get that yawn!!! ) to see some account from the other side ( pakistani ) side of the story. Most of the accounts were by Indians and those by pakistani's didnot answer the question satisfactorily. But whats the point of coming out with the story after 37 years ?

Thinking about the topic now and looking at my life ... i feel i have somehow given more importance to the journey than the end. Like asking myself whether i could clear engineering entrance exams ? rather than what is engineering ? or asking myself how can i perform well in this area .... rather than what will happen if a perform well in this XYZ area? The end , the pinnacle is always overshadowed behind the tumultuous journey. Looking at my friends and descisions which they are making .... i feel someof them are still going ahead with the journey not knowing what will be the end.

Why do we do it? The answer to this i will never know, because consciously or subconsciously even i have a lot of times given more importance to journey. What i can only do is speculate. What i feel is people are afraid. Yes they are afraid of making decisions. Decisions which they might make looking at the end which they want, for which the journey might be different from the path traveled by and by doing so they might be alone. So people take on the journey as hundreds before have taken. They go and fight each battle on the way, even though some might not be their own only believing that one day on the journey they would find their destination and leave the path. The destination which maynot be the end which they would have desired. Why? Only because from the very beginning we have been taught to make sacrifices, compromises and even with our goals and aspirations we sometimes do it.

I dont know why i wrote this post, what i intended to do ... but right now the only ending remarks i can think off is - WAKE UP before the journey ends.

ps: this post reminds me of one of my earlier posts though not the same.