i rock

It has been an year since my city was raped in front of my eyes while its protectors the swiny politicians and babus kept bickering among themselves about whom to blame. It has been an year since I watched helplessly while somebody destroyed, mauled and played havoc with my childhood memories. It has been an year since we lost our bravest officers for want of better equipment.It has been an year since the media houses feeded on the grief of relatives like blood thirsty vultures waiting get their next sound bite. It has been an year since a bunch of gunmen from an alien country played the dance of death on the very streets where I had spent some of the best moments of my teenage. It has been an year since our necessity and compulsion ws termed our ' resilience' , since we were told that Mumbai will rise, since we were told about the cliched line " The spirit of Mumbai". I was afraid. I am afraid.

What has changed in the past year? The lone terrorist who was caught is still lying in the jail awaiting sentence. Our Prime Minister is having a state banquet in a foreign country. The " masterminds" of the carnage are enjoying state hospitality in the foreign country. The Jacket of one of the bravest officers is lost while his Wife cries for justice. The current police chief takes pride in telling us that his force fought with " every available weapon" and his head doesnot stoop down in telling that, that everything included a chair thrown at an AK-47 wielding terrorist. The Home minister who made the statement " Bade Bade shehron mein aisi choti choti baatein hoti rehti hai " ( such small things happen in Big cities ) is back at his position. The then chief minister who treated an attack site as family picnic is back as a cabinet minister. We have exchanged innumerable dossiers back and forth with Pakistan while no concrete action has been taken.

"Do not go gentle into that night
Rage rage against the dying light"

Ok the main motivation for this post is that Sagarika Ghose replied to one of my tweets. But apart from the ego boosting reason for this post, there is a bigger issue staring at us. According to a UNICEF report 46% of the children in our country below the age of 6 months are malnourished. We aim to be a superpower, there are constant reports in the media about the rise of new India, the power of the new redefined Indian. Not debating all of it, but can we achieve total development without making sure that the benefits of the 9% GDP growth for which we are aiming percolate down to the weakest and poorest sections of our society.

We don't have any concrete form of food security in our country. The ration cards are misused, there is mass hoarding and the corruption at different levels. Rajiv Gandhi Once remarked that for every 1 rupee spent only 10 paisa reaches to the those for whom it is spent. We have schemes like Public distribution system, Mid day meals etc but they are either in name sake or if implemented they leave a lot to be desired. What lacks is the nutrition we provide to our children. The sanitation is at prehistoric levels in the interior parts of the country and the drinking water in most parts of the country is not fit for drinking.

Coming to the issue of education in our country. 71% males and 46% are literate ( there is a clear different in opportunities for different sexes, will come to it later). Even 99% literacy, once a pride of Kerela is no longer there. Our government is more interested in opening new IIT's and IIM's or increasing the quota for reserved candidates but nothing about primary education. It is even failing badly in his endeavors for higher education. We don't have adequate infrastructure or quality education in our primary schools. According to a world bank report 25% of school teachers in India skip work. Only 50% who are present actually work. Due to lack of a proper infrastructure most children don't continue their education and thus it indirectly feeds into the child labor problem.

Finally the issue about different opportunities given to the 2 sexes in our country. I am not sure what percent of the 46% of malnourished children are females but I am very sure that majority of them will be girls. Traditionally in Indian homes a girl is always told that she is equal to everybody but in face of constraints they are most of the times treated as second grade to their male counterparts. There is widespread infanticide in India. There are 93 girls for every 100 males in India. Even thought things like ultra sound are banned, dingy clinics in interior parts of the country are still conducting tests and committing these ghastly murders. In places like Punjab and Haryana there are hardly any brides for eligible bachelors. The girl child is India is less nourished, less educated and provided less opportunity than her male counterparts. Even those who make to schools of excellence have to compete in a highly male dominated chauvinistic environment. I have never said it, but I have always admired the girls in the Engineering colleges for the way they conduct themselves in such chauvinistic environments ( requires a separate post.)

So today we celebrate Childrens day. the same way we have celebrated for many years and the same way we would celebrate it for many years to come. But now is the time to move from functions and long speeches to actually take care of that child who tomorrow would be the future of this country. No child should be denied an opportunity. Who knows you might not be feeding the next Abdul Kalam, killing the next Kiran Bedi, not educating the next Indira Nooyi. As the tag line from a famous movie:

Its been been an insanely long time since I posted anything here. This post is part a guilt ridden for not writing for so long, part longing to connect back, part trying to deceive the unexplainable feeling I am having right now and part trying to escape from the daily motions of my life.

When you start with the job your world changes. Suddenly everybody is your colleague. There are no pats on the backs after some nonsense joke ( there are no nonsense jokes). There are no loose talks, no late night chats, no sitting around the mess table not caring about the time and putting all your energies trying to pull the leg of one poor soul. There is no Dc and definitely no main chat. There are no the days when you ask a person waking up and moving towards the bathroom " kitno dino se nahaya nahi " ( How many days has it been since you last had a bath!). There is no thinking about bunking a boring lecture. There is no planning about those last days of the month when suddenly cash seems to dry up. No infinite loans to give and no people to pester about treats.

These days life moves like a flash. Working like a robot from 5 in the morning to 12 in the night. Everything has a schedule and you stick to it. You think before you speak evaluating the possible outcome of the words that leave your mouth and how they might be perceived. You try to please your bosses and not feel awkward when a man thrice your age calls you sahab. You complete the assignments given to you in time. Try to remain busy. You wake up and look prim and proper before proceeding for office. You eat your meals thinking and discussing how a particular force or moment might apply to the member you are designing ( To be fair the lunches are still fun with those 15 minutes afterward where everybody sits and discusses his/ her "job experience" ) You suddenly have so much money that you don't know what to do with it, suddenly that constrained account with debts to paid and 200 rupees accounts to be settled look good.

Yesterday while Sachin ( God) was scripting another masterpiece in what would turn out to be a match of so near yet so far, I was in the common room. It felt like to be back some 6 months back. The shouts, the jeers, the adrenaline , the euphoria at every six and the collective sigh at every wicket .... It felt nice. I felt like 2005A4360G back in BH4 cheering at the top of my voice. Instead I was now a different number, at a different place and at a different designation.

I probably have never worked so hard in my life ever. I probably have never felt so contend in my life. I probably have never run faster or lifted more weights, I probably have never been in better shape. I probably have never read so much in my life. Probably for the first time I have felt what it is like to have a goal and try to achieve it. What it is like to make a comeback.

I miss the things which I have written above, but I would trade them any day for what I am feeling now.

There is kheer on the table and chocolates around me. The moonless night is bright with more lights than you can imagine. There is mom's home cooked food and there are treats in the Marriott. There are drives to marine drive and there is my cozy bed. I am home, I am in Mumbai. My favorite city in the whole world. It feels good to be back. It feels great to be home. It feels awesome to wake up at 11 in the morning without having the tension of rushing to office. But what feels the greatest of all is to be back amongst the family.
So there are friends whom you havent seen in months to come and visit you, there are more sweets than you can imagine to eat, there are kids downstairs bursting crackers, there are people in traditional attire and there I am smiling - Its Diwali!!!

Happy Diwali to All! May this Diwali fill your lives with Lights and may you have a fruitful and prosperous year ahead!!!

So here am I at Hyderabad airport. My flight is after 3 hours. I don't know what made me come to the airport so early. But well the airport is awesome.
This is the first time I am flying after I started spending my " khoon pasine ki kamiye" . It feels nice. A lot has changed in the past 2 months and well a lot is the same.

1. I am now officially referred to as Oil Rigs technology Engineer. ( Yeah sounds awesome doesn't it?)
2. For starters I have started earning.
3. Getting up at the 5 in the morning so that you can swipe inside the plant at 6:45.
4. People refer to me as Sir. ( The first time that happened I actually looked around me and then realized the girl was referring to me. It is embarrassing!!! all I could do to make up was give a smile)
5. Started drinking Tea ( hate it but it is the only beverage available here.)
6. Started reading about what I should have read in last 4 years. ( yeah I have read about more technical stuff than I had ever imagined.Itna college mein pada hota to aaj kahin aur hota)
7. I party every saturday night ( and by that i don't mean our "parties" in anathashram ( Goa people would understand.) They are proper parties thanks to chillu, Mia, prasun, deepak and (saurabh)^2)
8. I have my own fridge \m/.
9. For the first time I am living totally independently with no restriction whatsoever ( no 11:30 rule, no relatives to answer to :P)
10. I wear a grey coloured company dress.
11. I wear a helmet and like ( actually love) going to the shop floor and well see the things in action.

So well there are a lots of things which have not changed in past 2 months.
1. My mom still thinks I am incapable of doing absolutely anything. ( yes she asks me every time whether I had my food or well how do I wash the clothes or ......)
2. Dad still gets me chocolates whenever he comes visiting ( and yeah I still love choclates :P)
3. My fridge as always ( here always refers to home ) will always be full of - Ice cream, chocolates, pepsi and orange juice :P. ( i actually finished a 500 ml carton of baskin robins strwberry before coming here so that it shouldn't go waste :P)
4. I still take time to get used to having so many girls around me. Seriously for first few minutes at the airport my head was just moving in all directions thinking so many girls at one place ( BITS then job ......its like progressive drying up of my prospect of finding a girl.... BHAGWAN MERI KYUN MAAR RAHE HO !!!)
5. I still go to sleep in a mess and then get up at 2 am feeling guilty and then go about cleaning the room before i go back to sleep again.
6. I still end up getting atrocious haricuts.
7. I still have my wierd sleeping patterns.
8. I still end up using Dad'd credit card whenever I find myself having to pay a bill and suddenly short of cash.
9. I still put chocolate sauce in my cereal otherwise I don't like it.
10. 75% of my luggage still consists of dirty laundry.

So thats it. There are a lot more points but the battery is low. And well the airport + people here are awesome. Let me give my eyes some exercise.

Till Then
Adios!

What happens to a society when it starts imagining its history? What happens to a civilization when it has a blatant disregard for horrors perpetrated by it in the past? What happens when we prop up villians and imagine card board heroes? How long can we live in this decadent state where we blatantly refuse to come to terms with what actually happened in the past?

I am referring to the recent controversy about the biography of a leader of freedom struggle ( yes I would refer to him as that in spite of everything, he played an important part in the freedom struggle.) by a eminent politician of a right wing party in India. The uproar was expected. Even a bit of controversy. But what I didnot expect was the jingoism and the insolent disregard shown to the man who served his party for 30 years.

Personally I feel history is victor's story. No king was as benevolent and as peace loving as shown by history and no villain was pure evil. It was just how one side perceived the other and finally the story was narrated by those who survived. Over a period of time rumors become legends and legends become truths. Coming to the topic at hand. I refuse to believe that the person whose biography was written was a pure evil. Neither do I believe that the leaders on this part of the border did not commit any mistakes or were always on the right side of their conscious.

We have this habit of forgetting about all the mistakes a person committed after his death or well in this case all the supposidely right steps he took. But it has been 60 years. Not going into eulogizing the person I want to know what really happened. My family has been a victim of partition. One fine day because of power struggle of a few individuals my forefathers were left penniless sent to an alien land, made refugees in their own country. My grand parents perhaps would never forgive the man. They may also never even agree to hear anything less than pure evil about him. But I do not carry the baggage of history with me. Perhaps I do not understand the pain they went through. Probably never will.

But I think all that is good in some way. I want to know what circumstances led to the fateful event. I want to know who all were responsible. An account stripped of any eulogizing, any jingoism, any reverence to anybody of any kind. I want bare facts. I want to know the real history. Not Somebody's story.

Perhaps If someday we have that account, which I believe the passage of time would give us, if we are mature enough not to get caught in petty politics. One day both our countries may stop baying for each others blood and may finally realize the dream of peaceful coexistence.

Picture courtesy: http://blog.taragana.com/n/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/india-pak-flaggif.jpeg

Well long time since I posted anything here. I have signed a document in my company which bars me from writing anything about it, about the country, about my opinion on certian issues ( this one is still not clear ) so well pretty much about everything. So while I was thinking what to write ( you see I love my blog and also tormenting you with all the blabber ), I saw at the vast expanse of people around me ( We have the second largest population in the world, the one thing we are not short of is well men ( and women ... Damn you feminists ) ).

Have you ever noticed, wherever you are you can always categories people on the nature of their behavior. There are well the perfectionists, the confused souls, the " cool dudes ", the losers, The not so sure class and well the list is unending.

So it got me thinking people in a particular category always display same kind of behavior like in a class:

The front Benchers: The no nonsense group. Normally the shirt tucked in kind. Who try to imbibe each and every of the teacher's words. Look upto him as if the next moment he is going to give them the formula of becoming a " chick magnet". To the people on the later benches, the " cool dudes" these are the "losers" but well after the class graduates the equation changes rapidly and the tables turn. Anyhow these people are teachers pets and well 70% of the time teacher only teaches them.

The apparent front Benchers: This group normally consists of individuals who want to study but also have a life!. They normally use the front benchers as cover for hiding their marvel comics, mobile phones, Novels and well anything and everything. Sometimes when they are bored just for kicks they also ask a question to waste time. Most of the time of this group is spent by either pulling someone's leg from their own group or dividing their attention between the procrastination device, the teacher and looking at the people from other sex.

The middle Benches: The people are the most confused of the lot. They don't really know whether they want to study or just procrastinate. In this confusion most of the time is spent making weird theories. Giving stupid ratings to anything and everything under the sun. Doodling on the desk, playing games like book cricket. The the activity mostly pursued by them is well - sleep. Most of the time they would be found in the dreamland conquering new kingdoms and exploring new vistas. The are never in teachers line of sight. Not too front so that teacher teaches them, neither too back so that teacher keeps a cautious eye on them. They are sometimes the unsuspecting target of an enthusiastic teacher who asks them a question. The answer to which is delight to the whole class.

The apparent back benchers: These are the " cool dudes" of the class ( mark the euphemism in the tone ). They would try to act differently. Look at others with condensation especially the front benchers. Passing snide comments is their birth right. They are keen on making plans to get to know that new girl in the class. During school this place was the abode of the bullies- the same one's who stole your lunch boxes and deflated your cycle tires. Their desks have some of the best comments which you can imagine. Some so naughty that they may make you go red. The teacher is always - Budha, sadoo, ganja, khadoos to them and their notebooks would have more games played than the formula's taught.

The Back Benchers : These poor souls are at the back because most of the time they are late to the class ( nearly always) for no fault of their own ( again nearly always). The most common thing about this group is their dress. Sometime they would have two different coloured socks, the shirt being out,a sandwitch which is still being muched in their mouth, the bag half open threatening to spill its contents. They would be scavenging for that one extra pen or a spare sheet of paper. The moment they enter the class they would give the teacher the look of a deer caught in front of headlights. These people at first really do try to come early but well the alarm, the cycle, that person who occupies the bathroom for 1 hour before them always betrays them. At first they feel bad about coming late. Later it becomes a ritual.

So well apart from class. There is another area where you can easily categorize people. That one place the Men's washroom ( No No not that, stop your thoughts you perverts). As opposed to women, talking in men's washroom is an absolute taboo. And so well you don't even acknowledge the person standing next to you. Well every person has a different way of handling his own pee schedule. Here are some instances:

The Racers , people in fast life, people who have to meet the deadline : For them everything is an F1 race. They barge in, go the nearest cubicle, have a race against time to empty their load as fast as they can. Go to the basin wash their hands and then check the time. For them pee break is nothing but a pit stop. The come in have their stratergy decided and leave as soon as they came.

The confused souls: These are the people who don't really know how and why they ended in the washroom. They are baffled when they enter, look around and then go to the basin still not sure why they are here. Look at themselves in the mirror. Then remember why they are here and finally do the job and well go out the same way -> basin -> mirror -> looking around. They even conduct their job in a confused way.

The perfectionists : These are the category of people who have to have perfection at everything they do. Aiming at the correct spot. Aiming and striving to hit the target. Even at the basin their activities are coordinated as if guided by an algorithm. Going to basin opening the tap to have just the correct pressure ... taking right amount of soap and closing the tap well in tap to conserve resources.

The Benched crowd : These are the people who have time on their side. Washroom is like the second home to them. Every time you go, you would see them. They do everything leisurely - From start to the end.

The Why me crowd: This is a set of people who always have something going wrong their lives. When they enter their face is an object of pity. They look around desperately for a place to relieve themselves. Walking awkwardly as if everything that can go wrong is about to go wrong. These people can be a subject of case study for people studying what happens to people when they achieve something they desire. The change in reaction of their face pre and post job has marked difference. What was an object of pity a few moments back keeps giving to the contagious smile of a winner saying - " yes I have done it "

Well there are many more categories of people but these are the most common. There are also many more places where people show their inner characteristics. But this post has gone too long. So I won't torment you any further. Till then let me find more topics I can blog about and well observe more behaviors :P.

image coutesy:
1. http://images.inmagine.com/img/imagezoo/iz130/iz130003.jpg
2. Calvin and Hobbes.